“OR...DID THE PARADE LEAVE WITHOUT ME?”

BY CLAUDE ANDERSON #1922

LOS ANGELES SHERIFF DEPARTMENT

WHEN I WAS TOLD THAT FIRESTONE STATION NOW HAS IT'S OWN WEB SITE, I THOUGHT WHAT A GREAT IDEA! VISITING IT, I FOUND MESSAGES FROM DEPUTIES THAT THEIR NAMES ALONE REKINDLED MY MEMORY. WHAT A GREAT BUNCH OF GUY'S THEY WERE!

I HAD ALWAY'S LOOKED BACK AT MY FIRST FEW DAY'S AT FIRESTONE AND EVEN TO THIS DAY (OVER 40 YEARS AGO!) I HAVE TO LAUGH.

I VOLUNTEERED TO BE TRANSFERRED TO FIRESTONE BECAUSE I HEARD IT WAS "THE STATION" TO WORK - "IF" YOU WANTED TO DO POLICE WORK. I WAS WORKING MAIN OFFICE TRANSPORTATION, DRIVING THE BUS ON THE EVENING "SOUTH LOOP". (4 TO MIDNIGHT) I THINK I APPLIED ONE DAY AND TWO DAY'S LATER-I WAS GONE!

NORMALLY, WHEN ONE TAKES ON A NEW ASSIGNMENT THERE’S NEW SURROUNDINGS, NEW FACES, NEW THINGS TO LEARN. ANXIETY, BUT ONE KNOWS THAT THE NEW SUPERVISORS WILL ALWAYS GREET YOU WITH A GRIN AND A HANDSHAKE AND WELCOME YOU ABOARD.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? AT FIRESTONE!!! THE DATE IS DECEMBER 8, 1958. I REPORTED FOR THE EVENING SHIFT AND WAS TAKEN IN TO SEE THE WATCH COMMANDER.... THERE I MET LT. GENE (IRON FIST) BAILEY, HE WAS A STOCKY MAN WITH A FACE LIKE............FORGET THAT! HE SAY'S... "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" SHAKEN, I TELL HIM, I'VE JUST BEEN TRANSFERRED. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? HE SAY'S. I TELL HIM I WORKED TRANSPORTATION, WAYSIDE AND MIRA LO...... HE SAY'S NO! NO! --NOT THAT CRAP, WHAT KIND OF A "BEEF" ARE YOU RIDING?

WHEN I TOLD HIM I VOLUNTEERED, AND NEVER HAD ANY DISCIPLINARY PROBLEMS, HE WENT THROUGH THE ROOF.... I NEVER SEEN VEINS IN A NECK STICK OUT SO FAR.

"YOU'RE A LIAR!" HE SCREAMED, NOBODY WORKS FIRESTONE UNLESS THEY ARE RIDING A "BEEF". (LATER I FOUND OUT- NOT TRUE)

THEN HE TELLS ME THAT FIRESTONE IS THE THIRD BUSIEST STATION IN THE COUNTRY-AS FAR AS CALLS PER CAR AND CRIMES OF VIOLENCE ARE CONCERNED. ONLY THE PRECINCT IN HARLEM NEW YORK AND THE PRECINCT ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO WERE 1 & 2 IN FRONT OF FIRESTONE. THEN HE TELLS ME THAT "YOU'RE THE SORRIEST LOOKING DEPUTY I EVER SAW” AND THAT I'M NOT GOING TO LAST A MONTH!

HE ASKED WHAT MY JOB WAS BEFORE SOME "IDIOT” GAVE ME A BADGE. I TOLD HIM I WAS AN AIR POLICEMAN IN THE AIR FORCE. HE TELLS ME TO GET READY TO "RE-ENLIST". "WHAT'S THAT? HE SAY'S, POINTING TO THE HANDCUFF CASE ON MY SAM BROWN BELT. WHEN I STUMBLE OUT THE WORDS HANCU...HE GOES ON TO SAY "IN HIS DAY” IT WAS CONSIDERED "SISSIFIED" TO CARRY CUFFS...YOU JUST KNOCKED THEM IN THE HEAD AND DRUG 'EM IN! HE THEN CALLS IN MY TRAINING OFFICER, DEPUTY BILLY CHARLTON ...AND I'M OFF FOR WHO KNOWS WHERE? BILLY GIVES ME THE REST OF THE INTRODUCTION AND WELCOME...SIX WORDS..."EYES OPEN, EARS OPEN, MOUTH SHUT"!!! AGAIN, NO WELCOME TO FIRESTONE! ...."WE'RE CAR 11 TONIGHT", AND HE HANDS ME CAR KEYS AND TELLS ME TO CARRY ALL HIS GEAR OUT TO THE CAR. SHOTGUN, FLASHLIGHTS, CLIPBOARDS AND A LARGE METAL BOX FILLED WITH REPORT FORMS & HIS LUNCH. TEN MINUTES LATER I REPORT BACK THAT I CAN'T FIND THE CAR IN THE PARKING LOT! BILLY BECOMES VIOLENT! THE LOT IS FULL OF BLACK & WHITE '57 FORDS AND I CAN'T FIND ONE WITH THIS NUMBER! (BILLY GROANS ABOUT GIVEN ANOTHER ROCKET SCIENTIST TO TRAIN!) HE POINTS OUT A '56 FORD-GRAY IN COLOR IN ONE CORNER OF THE LOT, WITH AN ORANGE COLORED SIREN ON THE ROOF. (H0W WAS I TO KNOW?) THE SHERIFF STAR IS PASTED ON THE REAR WINDOW. IT'S KNOWN AS THE "GRAY GHOST" AND THE ONLY ONE LEFT AT FIRESTONE. AS THE DEPARTMENT WENT TO BLACK & WHITES IN 1957. BILLY IS NOT HAPPY AS "REAL" DEPUTIES DRIVE "BLACK & WHITES." BILLY TOLERATED ME LIKE YOU TOLERATE A COCKROACH IN YOUR KITCHEN. A TRAINEE AT FIRESTONE IS CONSIDERED LOWER THAN (USING THE LT'S EXACT QUOTE) "LOWER THAN SEVEN LAYERS OF WHALE S**T IN THE DEEPEST PART OF THE OCEAN" THE REST OF THE SHIFT I REMEMBER ONLY CONSISTANT GROANS AND MUMBLING FROM BILLY. WHEN I GOT HOME THAT NIGHT, THE WIFE ASKED HOW I LIKED MY NEW ASSIGNMENT?

I'M NOT REALLY SURE... WONDERING IF THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION IS STILL TAKING APPLICANTS?

NIGHT TWO.... CAR 11 (NORTHEND EVENINGS 3-11 PM)...IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THE DUTIES OF A TRAINEE ARE TO RUN AFTER ANYONE WHO RUNS FROM US, CLIMB ANY STRUCTURE AND JUMP ANY FENCE, CHANGE THE FLAT TIRE ON ANY ALONE WOMAN DRIVER, PERSONALLY HANDLE ANY SITUATION WITH ODORS OR TOXIC SPILLS, GET THE COFFEE AND DONUTS AND NEVER ATTEMPT TO SPEAK TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC... (A TRAINEE NEVER KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT ANYWAY.) IF A CITIZEN ASKS YOU A QUESTION, YOU ARE TO "NOD" TOWARDS THE TRAINING OFFICER.

THAT SECOND NIGHT WE RECEIVED AN ASSIST CALL RE: "BURGLARS NOW" AT A FOOD MARKET ON FLORENCE AVE. UPON ARRIVAL, YOU KNOW WHO CLIMBS UP ON THE ROOF! AFTER WALKING AROUND, I TRIP OVER A GUY WIRE HOLDING UP A TV ANTENNA. I FALL FORWARD AT THE EDGE OF THE BUILDING HITTING THE EDGE DIAGONALLY ACROSS MY BODY AND DROP 8' INTO DUMPSTER! (I WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED, IF I HAD HIT MY HEAD ON THE STEEL EDGE OF THE DUMPSTER) THE DUMPSTER WAS FILLED WITH SPOILED VEGTABLES AND SOUR MAYONAISE AND SOME TYPE OF ORANGE SALAD DRESSING. LETTUCE, ROTTEN TOMATOES AND OVERRIPE BANANAS.

"HERE'S ONE NOW!" YELLS SOME DEPUTY AND SUDDENLY I'M BEING BEATEN ON THE HEAD AND SHOULDERS BY ABOUT FIVE ENRAGED DEPUTIES SWINGING BATONS. SOMEONE (GOD BLESS HIM) FOUND MY CAP ON THE GROUND AND CAUSED THE OTHERS TO SEE WHAT THEY WERE SWINGING AT. "IT'S BILLY'S TRAINEE!" THE GUY YELL'S AND SUDDENLY I WAS LEFT ALONE - WITH ONE GLARING TRAINING OFFICER! WHEN I HIT THE EDGE OF THE ROOF, MY BADGE CAUGHT THE EDGE AND ACTUALLY FOLDED THE STAR IN HALF (LIKE A CLAM) ALL THE BLUE ENAMEL FILLING WAS GONE AND I'M SURE THE CALIFORNIA BEAR IN THE CENTER LOOKED SCARED.

TWO BURGLARS WERE CAUGHT BY "REAL" DEPUTIES INSIDE THE BUILDING WHILE MY TRAINING OFFICER AMID CATCALLS FROM THE OTHER DEPUTIES TOOK "MR SALAD DRESSING” BACK TO THE STATION.

DOES HE TAKE ME IN THE BACK DOOR? NO WAY! I'M LED THROUGH THE DETECTIVE BUREAU, THE JUVENILE BUREAU, PASSED THE SECRETARIES, THE MAIN DESK AREA, WATCH SGT'S OFFICE AND WATCH COMMANDER! .... WHERE AT LEAST 50 PEOPLE GET TO VIEW MY SORRY CONDITION.

FINALLY IN THE LOCKER ROOM WHERE I LOOKED IN THE FULL LENGTH MIRROR, I SCARED MYSELF. I WAS A COMPLETE MESS! IT LOOKED LIKE I WAS THE TARGET OF ABOUT 100 SEAGULLS WITH DIARRHEA. A HOT SHOWER AND A CLEAN UNIFORM DOES WONDERS. HOWEVER, I STILL HAD TO REPORT TO THE WATCH COMMANDER FOR A REPLACEMENT BADGE. LT BAILEY WAS OFF THAT NIGHT AND ANOTHER LT. (MEENK) RIPPED ME OVER AS STANDARD PROCEEDURE AND HANDED ME A REPLACEMENT BADGE AND SENT MINE INTO THE SHOP.

(IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT AT NO TIME DID ANYONE EVER ASK IF I WAS HURT! AND I WAS! I HAD LUMPS ON ONE SIDE OF MY HEAD AND I THOUGHT ONE COLLER BONE WAS BROKEN-IT WASN'T, JUST BRUISED. ALSO, ONE KNEE AND ANKLE WERE NOT ALIGNED TOO WELL, I THINK LANDING ON A CASE OF ROTTEN EGGS IN THE DUMPSTER DID THAT! BUT, A TRAINEE NEVER SHOWS PAIN! (ANOTHER RULE THEY PASSED ON TO ME)

FOR THE REST OF THE EVENING BILLY TOLD ME HOW EMBARRASED HE WAS IN FRONT OF HIS PEERS, HOW I EMBARRASSED THE STATION, THE SHERIFF, THE DEPARTMENT, ETC. ETC. (YEAH! AND MILLIONS OF CHINESE TOO!)

WHEN I GOT HOME THAT NIGHT, THE WIFE TOOK ONE LOOK AND SAID "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU FELL OFF A BUILDING?"

THIRD NIGHT- CAR 11 (3 TO 11PM) CAR 11A CALLS FOR ASSISTANCE RE: FAMILY FIGHT. WE ROLL, ALONG WITH CARS 12, 12A, 13 AND 15 WHO JUST LEFT THE STATION.

AT THE LOCATION A NEAT FRAME HOME, IN THE LIVING ROOM IS A HUGE MAN THROWING DEPUTIES AROUND LIKE A DOG SHAKING WATER OFF HIS BACK.

THE MAN IS "THOR JOHNSON" (6' 8” 400+ POUNDS) WITH A SHAVED HEAD AND A FACE ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE. HE IS A DRUNK PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER AND WRESTLES UNDER THE NAME OF "THE SUPER SWEDISH ANGEL" NO DEPUTY DARED PULL A GUN OR ATTEMPT TO HIT HIM WITH A BATON AS HE WOULD HAVE IT SHOVED RIGHT UP THEIR NOSE!

BILLY LOOKS AT ME AND SAY'S "GO IN THERE AND THROW YOURSELF ON THE FIRE!"

WELL, IF THE GOOD LORD EVER DECIDED TO GIVE ME A BREAK, THIS WAS IT! I KNEW THOR PERSONALLY, (UNBEKNOWN TO ANY OF THE DEPUTIES) I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAW THE RECOGNITION, AND I WHISPERED "THOR, FOLLOW ME!" HE GAVE A SIGH AND LIKE A LITTLE PUPPY DOG AND FOLLOWED ME OUT OF THE HOUSE AND INTO THE BACK SEAT OF THE RADIO CAR. HE'S APOLOGIZING LIKE MAD, SAYING HOW SORRY HE IS AND THAT HE NEVER WANTS TO HURT ANYBODY AND APOLOGIZED FOR GETTING DRUNK ETC.

NONE OF THE OTHER DEPUTIES COULD BELIEVE THIS...HE FOLLOWING ME WITHOUT ME EVEN PLACING AN ARM ON HIM. SUDDENLY, THE "MR. SALAD DRESSING NAME WAS FORGOTTEN!" (EIGHT DEPUTIES WERE JUST FROZEN IN TIME WITH THEIR MOUTHS OPEN.) BILLY IS ONE STUNNED DEPUTY.... I TOLD HIM THAT WE WERE READY TO GO TO THE STATION, AS I SLIPPED INTO THE BACK SEAT WITH THOR. ENROUTE, I COULD SEE BILLY ADJUSTED THE REARVIEW MIRROR SO HE COULD WATCH US AND HIS EYE'S WERE AS BIG AS SAUCERS. TWO OTHER UNITS FELL INTO LINE BEHIND US AS AN ESCORT. BILLY COULDN'T HEAR WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT IN THE BACK SEAT AS I WAS WHISPERING. I TOLD THOR THAT HE WAS BEING ARRESTED ON A SIMPLE DRUNK CHARGE AND THAT I WOULD PERSONALLY CALL HIS SON TO COME DOWN AND BAIL HIM OUT. (HIS SON JOHN IS ALSO A WRESTLER) ONE FAVOR, DON'T LET ANYONE KNOW WE'RE FRIENDS, JUST DO AS I SAY AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. WE PULL INTO THE BACK OF THE BUILDING AND WE GET OUT AND I ESCORT THIS GIANT INSIDE. NOW I'M 6' 1" AND 230 POUNDS AND BESIDE THOR I LOOK LIKE A SMALL UNDERNOURISHED BOY!

I'M THE ONLY ONE AROUND BOOKING THOR (CAR 11A SAID WE COULD HANDLE THE CALL)... I CATCH THE REST OF THE STATION PEOPLE PEEKING AROUND CORNERS. WHEN FINISHED, I CALL THE JAILER AND WE PLACE HIM IN THE DRUNK TANK. AS WE LEAVE I TELL HIM THAT IF HE PULLS ANY OF THE BARS APART OR RIPS THE DOOR OFF HE'S GOING TO BE CHARGED. "YES SIR, HE SAY'S" "THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS!" THE JAILER ALMOST FAINTS THINKING OF THIS GUY TEARING THE DOOR OFF!

"THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS!!" WORDS UNHEARD OF AROUND FIRESTONE. HAD "CONGENIAL GENE" BEEN ON DUTY HE WOULD HAVE HAD A HEART ATTACK.

OUTSIDE THE DEPUTIES ARE WAITING WITH A THOUSAND QUESTIONS. I JUST SMILED AND SAID I WAS JUST DOING AS MY TRAINING OFFICER TOLD ME. OF COURSE BILLY SUCKED THIS UP LIKE A SPONGE IN A DESERT RAINSTORM.

OTHER TRAINING OFFICERS WANTED TO CHANGE TRAINEES WITH HIM, BUT BILLY SAID, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS GUY, BUT HE'S MINE! SUDDENLY I GAINED A FEW LAYERS OF WHALE POOP IN THAT OCEAN AND WAS ALLOWED TO ENTER THE COFFEE ROOM. I'M STILL "POND SCUM", BUT THINGS ARE LOOKING BETTER. AS WE WALK OUT OF THE STATION THE WATCH SGT. HAS TO GET IN THE LAST WORD OF COURSE, YELLING AT BILLY FOR LETTING ME BRING A PRISONER INTO THE STATION UNHANDCUFFED. BILLY TOLD HIM THAT CUFFS ARE'NT MADE THAT BIG! THAT THE GUY'S WRISTS WERE AS BIG AS THE SGTS THIGHS AND WE DID NOT HAVE THE TIME TO WAIT UNTIL A "CARGO NET" COULD BE BROUGHT IN FROM THE SHIPYARDS IN LONG BEACH! THAT TOOK CARE OF THAT!

BILLY AND I WORKED FOR FOUR MONTHS TOGETHER AND REALLY BONDED AS A TEAM. HE WAS A GREAT PATROL DEPUTY AND I LEARNED MUCH. AND THE SGT'S & LT'S WERE REALLY GOOD GUY'S "JUST ACTING" TO KEEP YOU ON YOUR TOES IN KEEPING UP YOUR GUARD AND NOT GETTING YOU KILLED.

I FOOLED LT. BAILEY AS I LASTED MORE THAN A MONTH. TWELVE YEARS TO BE EXACT AND SEVEN OF THOSE YEARS AS A TRAINING OFFICER. THE RULES SOON RELAXED IN CHANGING TIMES TOWARDS NEW TRAINEES-- WITH TEAMWORK AND MAKING A NEW PATROL DEPUTY COMFORTABLE IN A STRESSFUL ATMOSPHERE BECAME THE RULE. IN APRIL OF 1970 I TRANSFERRED TO THE DA'S OFFICE AS AN INVESTIGATOR AND FINALLY RETIRED WITH 25 YEARS IN. I STILL HAVE FUN WITH MY CARTOONS FOR THE STAR & SHIELD BULLETIN, (PPOA)..AS MY "10-22" CARTOON STILL HAS MY TRAINEE IN TRAINING AFTER 28 YEARS! I STILL WILL NOT LET HIM DRIVE, HOWEVER ONCE I LET HIM TURN ON THE RED OVERHEAD LIGHTS! IN THE OTHER CARTOON--"STAR & SHIELD" MY COUSIN CATHY HAS BEEN WORKING THAT COMPLAINT DESK THE SAME LENGTH OF TIME. SORRY, I DON'T SEE ANY TRANSFERS OR PROMOTIONS IN SIGHT!

"WELCOME TO FIRESTONE"...FOREVER #1 AND FOR ALL THE DEPUTIES & SUPERVISORS WHO WORKED THERE.... EVERYONE OF YOU GUY'S WERE THE GREATEST!